Scene ii
(Curtain opens on a messy house. There are papers everywhere, and it is almost impossible to move around without stepping on them. There is a window on a wall UPSTAGE and a door UPSTAGE RIGHT. A desk is sitting stage LEFT with a pile of papers, and an open notebook. A telephone sits on the desk as well. There is a couch CENTER and a “hallway” stage RIGHT and stage LEFT. The “hallway” on stage LEFT leads to the front door of the house. A trashcan is overflowing stage RIGHT, and the telephone is ringing as the curtain opens. ENTER KRISTY LEFT. She is carrying a folder and, upon hearing the phone, rushes to it to answer.)
KRISTY:
DuWright’s playwright service, this is Kristy Lambent speaking how may I help you? (Beat.) Oh! Mr. Callaway, how nice to hear from— (Beat.) Yes, I understand, but you have to realize that— (Beat.) Mr. Callaway not everything can be done on time. (Beat.) No I am not suggesting that you are not worth— (Beat.) How much longer? Let me see real quick for you. (She rummages through the papers on the desk until she comes upon a thick packet of paper. She rifles through it quickly and flips to the end.) Well he’s almost done; I’d say another three days or so? (Beat.) Uh-huh. Well, if you’d like, I can guarantee you for up to four days. (Beat.) Yes, I understand. (Beat.) That’s right, one hundred percent free. (Beat.) Mmm-hmm, no problem Mr. Callaway. We’ll expect to hear from you then. (Beat.) You too. Have a nice day. (She hangs up the phone.)
(KRISTY looks around the room and rolls her eyes as she puts down her notebook and begins to pick up the mess of papers. She begins to get irritated when she finds clumps of gum sticking many of them together. Just when she is about to get everything in order, the phone rings again. She sighs heavily and picks it up.)
KRISTY:
DuWright’s playwright service, this is Kristy Lambent speaking how may I help you? (Beat.) Mr. Tistal, what a nice surprise! How did that play turn out for you? I heard that it— (Beat.) Oh, it did? Well I’m terribly sorry that I— (Beat.) What do mean ‘I should be’? (Beat.) Oh, really? And what did the reviews say? (Beat.) And how is that our fault, Mr. Tistal? You were the one who casted them, not us! (Beat.) Well if that’s how you feel Mr. Tistal, then maybe you should find someone else who’ll put up with your bloated head and arrogant attitude! (Beat. She gasps.) Well, you too! Except I hope you enjoy it! (She hangs up the phone.)
(KRISTY leans on the desk, exasperated. The phone rings again. Almost without thinking she picks it up and then quickly hangs up. She gets back to picking up the papers in front of the couch when FRED ENTERS from the door UPSTAGE RIGHT. He rushes in the room in a hurry carrying a black portfolio and, without even noticing KRISTY, rushes to the desk where he begins searching through the drawers for something. After a couple of seconds he stops and scratches his head as he looks at the desk.)
FRED:
Huh! Where’d all my papers go?
(Kristy clears her throat.)
FRED:
Oh! Kristy! (He rushes over and pecks her on the head.) Do you know where all my papers— (He notices the pile in her hand and the neat stack on the floor.) Aw, Kristy! I had everything all neat and organized!
KRISTY:
Are you kidding me?!
FRED:
No...
KRISTY:
This place was a complete mess! Nothing was where it was supposed to be! I couldn’t even walk without stepping on a piece of paper! And the papers that were together were gross. (She holds up a clump that is stuck together.) Look: gum.
FRED:
Heh. I knew I left that somewhere.
KRISTY:
Ugh! Fred, when are you going to learn to keep everything orderly?
FRED:
I do! I knew where everything was. It was organized in...my own way. So really if you think about it, you messed— (She looks hard at him.) You made it even better! I like better. Better is good. (Beat.) But can “better” help me find my notepad? I came up with this new idea, and I could’ve sworn that I wrote it down on my notepad.
KRISTY:
(Ignoring him and continuing to stack the papers.) Jonathan Callaway called.
FRED:
That’s nice. Notepad?
KRISTY:
He says he’s feeling that you’re not taking your job seriously.
FRED:
Mmm-hmm. It’s a pad, with notes in it.
KRISTY:
(She begins filing the papers in the desk drawers.) He’s giving you four days to finish his play before he cuts the deal.
FRED:
(Following KRISTY.) Right, four days. Got it. (Hand outstretched.) Note...pad. (Pause. He sits there with his hand outstretched and stare at KRISTY until he comes to realization.) Wait! Four days?!
(KRISTY picks up her folder from off of the desk and walks back to the couch, where she sits down and begins reading its contents. The CALLAWAY play is still in her hand as well.)
KRISTY:
(She is toying with him now, enjoying his predicament.) That’s right, four days. It’s a shame too, I heard writing plays for a living is so time consuming. To bad you don’t have six months. (Beat.) Oh! Wait! You did, didn’t you? But that can’t be right! If you had six months to write a play then you’d be busy doing that before anything else, wouldn’t you?
(FRED pulls his hand through his hair and drops onto the couch.)
FRED:
Four days? Four days? Four days!
KRISTY:
Yes Fredrick; four days.
FRED:
Uh. I am almost done. So it shouldn’t take me too long to finish it. I could just pull one of my ending ideas and wrap it up by tomorrow...
KRISTY:
(Smiling and looking up at him lovingly.) You have no idea what to do, do you?
FRED:
(Smiling.) Nope, nothing. And you?
KRISTY:
Are you asking me for help?
FRED:
Yes’m.
KRISTY:
I don’t know how much I’d be able to help you. I’m not that great at writing. That’s why you do it, not me.
FRED:
Oh, come on Kristy! You always help me when I need you. I don’t something like this is too difficult. Besides, you’ve helped me out of much worse situations. Right? (He kisses her forehead.)
KRISTY:
(Sighs and closes her folder.) Fine. What’s happening in the play?
FRED:
(Getting over-excited.) Well, the hero is pushed to his limits and wants to do what’s right. But there’s a catch. The hero has to either kill himself, or let the villain kill his best friend. What does he do?
KRISTY:
(Playfully and jokingly.) Well...I think that the hero’s girlfriend should come in and stop the villain to save the day! Just a thought.
FRED:
(Also playful.) Right...the girlfriend that’s not just a girlfriend? The one who’s helped the hero through thick and thin? (Beat.) That’s actually a great idea! Thanks! (He grabs the CALLAWAY play from her and EXITS hurriedly through the door UPSTAGE RIGHT.)
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